Tiny Hose Biting Animals

On the long drive back from the airport my sister and I discussed her new car and getting insurance in Germany. Suddenly in the midst of the conversation she gasped, got this ridiculous grin on her face and said,"Oh, my gosh, I have to tell you something hilarious!" I could hardly wait...

It seems that when choosing insurance policies she needed a little help with translation from her fiance who did a fine job of helping her understand the coverage options. That is, until they came to the line in the insurance policy that specified coverage in case small animals crawl inside your car and bite your hoses. Stunned, she asked for clarification, thinking she must have heard wrong. She asked for translation and he said "Ferrets". To my sister, (and later to me) this seemed absurd, since the only context we have for ferrets are those odd friends or friends-of-friends who keep ferrets as pets. Imagining a sudden onslaught of escaped exotic pets running through Germany attacking random car hoses brought on the giggles. Her fiancé couldn't understand what the joke was and insisted that this was actually a rather common phenomenon. She said that when her sister arrived he would see that she wasn't the only one who found it to be absurd to have a specific line in a car insurance policy abut this - and that it was about as absurd as it would be to insure against purple pigs with acid saliva randomly licking your tires and causing them to go flat.

When she retold the story to me I was heavy under the influence of exhaustion from the lateness of the hour and from traveling with three kids, and I could NOT for the life of me stop laughing. (That, and the fact that every offramp was announced with a glowing sign that said "ausfahrt" -pronounced "ows-fart" with a British "r") When the giggles finally subsided and we got back to our regular conversation it managed to somehow twist it's way back to images of little ferrets sneaking into the car and biting hoses. It was an entertaining ride, to say the least. Even now I am still chuckling at the imagery of sneaky escaped ferrets and purple pigs out car stalking.

This morning, as we discussed the insurance policy, we finally consulted the internet. It turns out that the "Tiny hose-biting animals" are not ferrets, but in fact a close relative called the Marten which is closely related to the Sable that luxury coats are made of. The ferret is a distant cousin. In any case, it seems that these adorable little creatures are not quite as adorable as they may first have appeared...







They even keep statistics on how frequently this hose-biting occurs throughout Germany. It seems that this new uncle to be actually knows what he is talking about. ...but still almost as funny as the purple pigs.